Eastern cultures have been aware of the incredible transformative powers inherent in the practice of semen retention for millennia. It is only here in the West that we remain naive of the immense toll semen release takes on a man.
The moment semen is released, a male undergoes an intense neurological, mental, emotional, and physiological refractory period and process of replenishment, in which dopamine levels crash and prolactin levels rise. Prolactin causes fatigue and even hair loss. The body pulls all the most precious growth factors, hormones, and vital nutrients to replace the vital sperm.
This refractory period causes fatigue, mood imbalance, and distancing in the relationship. It is most intense for the first few days. But the science shows that this process actually continues to weave up and down for up to two weeks.
80% of men and 26% of women masturbate to pornography at least once a week. From my own experience, as well as the men I talk to, the reality is that men masturbate to pornography at least every few days, more likely daily, or even multiple times per day. This means that the majority of men are experiencing overlapping dopamine crashes, and entering a period of chronic fatigue, massive mood swings, anger, irritability, and a total inability to engage in a connective, meaningful relationship.
The solution is simple and easy; refrain from pornography and practice semen retention. Nothing seems to bring up more fear in the men I talk to than semen retention. Yet all of these fears are based on myths and misconceptions.
The largest misconception men have is that they will somehow experience less satisfaction because they are not releasing their semen. I am not here to take away the satisfaction and beautiful processes of love-making. I am actually offering a way to enhance it.
In Tantra, we regularly practice full-body orgasm and ejaculation without semen release. This is when our entire body, not just the lingam, ejaculates and orgasms in ecstasy, as the Chi sexual energy cycles throughout our body and brain during love-making. All we are doing is simply blocking the semen from being released. That’s it!
The truth is that by regularly releasing our semen to pornography or during love-making with our partner, men are already getting less satisfaction and sensitivity, as their dopamine levels and receptors, as well as their Chi sexual energy, become depleted. In fact, science shows that regular porn users experience the same chronically-low dopamine levels and receptors as cocaine and morphine addicts. This is because the brain can not differentiate between physical addiction to a drug and a neurological addiction to the super-stimulus of semen release to pornography.
Women can smell a man who is lacking in vigor, magnetism, potency, drive, creativity, voice, power, and success. Women are repelled by this display in men. The reality is that men, who are regularly engaging in porn, are pushing away the very reality they think they are getting and falling deeper and deeper into a fantasy of pixels on a screen. The real woman of their dreams is passing right by without any interest in them while they are fantasizing about her on a screen.
The truth about semen retention is paradoxical. As our dopamine and Chi sexual energy levels return to normal by refraining from pornography and semen release, we experience increased sexual satisfaction, sensitivity, and fuller embodiment during love-making. We experience increased sexual potency, performance, and prolongment. Rather than unconsciously releasing our semen after an average of 3-5 minutes, now we have the tools to extend love-making to 30-50 minutes, or whatever is in alignment with our partner.
Men are not aware that women are just getting warmed up after 3-5 minutes, when men are not only finished, but also distancing from them. This leaves women wholly unsatisfied, disconnected, and distancing themselves. Semen retention is an invaluable practice for aligning sexually with our partner.
Hundreds of thousands of men and women, including myself, have gone through the NoFap program, an online community of hundreds of thousands of men and women who have quit their addiction to pornography and semen release. We commit to 90 days of No Pornography, Masturbation, and Orgasm (NoPMO). When we graduate, we naturally progress into practices of semen retention and bonding behaviors, which have been practiced for millennia in Karezza, Tao, and Tantra, as a way to enhance and deepen our relationships and intimacy.
It is important for men to transform the way we approach love-making. It provides us with practice in discipline and control, rather than just mindless reactions. Just as it is important to let go of our addiction to pornography and semen release, it is also important to let go of our attachment to the outcome. If love-making does not arise every time we are intimate with our partner, see it as an opportunity to deepen our relationship through bonding behaviors, and to learn new ways to connect, communicate, express our emotions, work on our passions and careers. It’s always nice to know that when love-making does not occur, our sexual potency and performance is only deepening through the practice of semen retention.
Read You Are Not Broken: A Holistic Guide for Men and Women to Heal the Pathways of Sexual Dysfunction and Restore Relational Harmony Together written by Brooke Hazen.
Brooke developed a holistic, preventative, and curative protocol based on experiential evidence and scientific studies in order to help men and women like you who have suffered from sexual dysfunction, pornography addiction, and relational disharmony.